Klein & Weingarten Announce.....

    "Thank a retired teacher, an ATR or a Rubber Room Denizen campaign."

    updated Thurs, 7:30 am

    The much heralded "Thank a Teacher Campaign" announced today in a joint statement by Joel Klein and Randi Weingarten had a secret component, rooted out by the crack investigative reporters at Ed Notes Online (seen in the picture above on Monday night outside Tweed.)

    A member from each Rubber Room will be chosen by lottery to be given a chair to sit on as a thank-you for being there for the DOE to be able to use scapegoated teachers to deflect criticism of BloomKlein's policies. Randi Weingarten went along, saying "I wasn't happy with this part of the plan since a hundred people still have to stand all day, but at least one person gets to sit. It is a start and we're hoping this collaboration will lead to another chair in each rubber room by next year."

    Both Klein and Weingarten aides will write anonymous letters thanking a retiree for leaving their higher salaried job for a newcomer so the the DOE can hire 2 for the price of one.

    ATR's who swear a blood oath to leave the system immediately will be nominated for a raffle to receive a free cell phone programmed with one number on it - the DOE sub hiring office. "Why pay them full salaries when we can get them as subs for no more than $150 a day," said a spokesman in the Tweed PR department? "But will teachers work for such a small amount when they could just stay on for over double that salary," an Ed Notes reporter asked? "Ve, er - we have our methods," she said. "Besides, we know incentives work."

    The agreement was hammered out as Weingarten and Klein held a secret meeting in the dark recesses outside the Tweed Courthouse under a rain-soaked umbrella in the short time between the end of Monday's UFT candlelight vigil and the beginning of Klein's PEP meeting.

    Joel Klein and Randi Weingarten working out the secret agreement on Monday

    Chancellor Klein said. “I’ve said many times that I owe a great deal to my physics teacher at Bryant High School in Queens, who encouraged me not to set any limits when I thought about my future." The young Klein, was told, "Don't be crazy and become a teacher. Don't you know we make shit and have lousy working conditions? You don't want to have to do idiotic bulletin boards. " Instead he urged Klein to skip the drudge stuff of teaching and aim straight for Chancellor of the schools. "Remember, Sonny. NEVER BE TEMPTED TO TEACH, NO MATTER WHAT."

    Weingarten, when asked to name her favorite teachers, did her usual straddling the fence wide stance and said all her teachers inspired her to aim high and do the minimal amount of teaching necessary to become head of the largest local in the world. "6 months full time ought to be enough," said Ms. Dumbledee, her 1st grade teacher. "But always make sure to tell people it was 6 years. If you say it often enough, it becomes true. NEVER FORGET: GOOD PR IS WORTH MORE THAN KNOWLEDGE."

    Note: The actual DOE press release is at Norms Notes.

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Klein & Weingarten Announce.....

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